Fight – for the right – to cho~~~colate!

Not sure if it came across in the title, but I was thinking of a particular song; exchange chocolate for party. 😉

Yes, well. Chocolate. I have to say that I’m rather partial to the stuff. So imagine my fury when I go downstairs to try some of the Marks n Sparks chocolate roulade cake and find an empty box lying by the bin. Hell hath no fury greater than a woman scorned (or something like that). In my case, scorned by not leaving any chocolate cake. As it happens, this is the SECOND time in as many months where the last of the cake has been scoffed by some of the snout-and-trotter laden humans wandering about this home. Manners do not exist with food, even if you have eaten a large meal earlier in the day; if you don’t get to the cake in time, you don’t get any. I tell you, my fury raged for a good few minutes. The particular family member in question even admitted to feeling slightly ill afterwards from eating  too much (around 1/5th of the cake!!).

But even with a small retribution like that to help rebalance the world or whatever, the damage was done. That person then went onto claim that they were saving myself from those extra calories – that extra fat – and sacrificed themselves. Of course, all of this was said with a cheeky-with-a-hint-of-sheepish grin on their face so didn’t mean sod. It is the excuse used every time a piece of food gets scoffed when it could have been someone else’s. The other member of this family took my side in complaining, but considering that they had tried some of this cake I was not interested in supporters. I quickly reminded that person of the incident just less than a month ago when the last sizeable chunk of rich chocolate cake suddenly disappeared from its stand. And so the sheepish laughs rang throughout the house. I decided to grab some chocolate digestives as a replacement (hardly good enough, especially as they were milk, not plain, chocolate) and return to the solitude of my room. Yet another mark left in my proverbial black book. One day I shall wreak my revenge.

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The days go bye…

See what I did in the title? Good, eh 😉

Frankly I’ve been dwelling on time in the brief moments I have to myself during the day. I was walking over one of the footbridges in London and paused for a split-second mid-stride to take in my surroundings. London is a beautiful city and living here I don’t appreciate it as much as I should. A few weeks ago I was in Paris and was awed by the wonderful architecture with rich creamy stonework and amazing sculptures. I wondered why London wasn’t like that, but as soon as I arrived back home I had a proper look around. Those buildings, whilst maybe of a different material, are everywhere here. What makes London different is how much we have grasped the new and incorporated it next to the old. In Paris everything is old; if it is new then it is either made to look old or is in a place where new is not so strange. Even the Eiffel Tower has the grace of days gone by. 

I try to take in as much as I can now. I’m a young adult so I have much ahead of me, but somehow I can see that the years will slip by in no time at all – I will no doubt change somewhat over time and I will eventually be in a different place with different circumstances and people. I am all for change, but the thought of getting older makes me queezy. It’s not so much the getting old bit that I feel reluctant about; it is the potential for missed opportunities and letting myself open up to new people that may eventually be a part of my life. I try my hardest to grasp at every opportunity I can, making deals with people to go places and do things in the hope that I can do at least one. If I don’t step up, then how will I know? I am trying to be proactive in life and it scares me that I could die tomorrow – it makes me cautious and that is exactly what I don’t need to progress. Caution is fine, but I don’t want to be afraid of my own shadow! I feel this is something that I have picked up from my mother, as she is overly cautious and aware of everything. The best cure would be to go out and be adventurous, but for now I have to bide my time. I have a goal and a plan of how to get there. I need to stabilise my future. I need to create a security net so that I can go and do my own thing and still come back and have options. It’s a struggle to keep up in a world full of ‘things’ that seem to get in the way, but I am confident that I will get there in the end. In what shape, though, I do not know.

Ahhh a few days too many passed by! Let’s talk about hot-headed people…

The last few days have been more involved at work, although I am not doing as much as I would like at the moment. The person who I’m supposed to be working with finally came back from holiday, 3 weeks after I started! Talk about bad timing, oh well…

On the 15th when I was tired (still am) I had a strange lunch. One of the girls from work, lets caller her Ms M, invited me to go with them to get some food and go to Boots to get whatever they needed. Eager to join in with the crowd I happily agreed. All went well until we went to Boots. I got talking to one of the girls and we were chatting away while we walked there and looked around and when I went to go and pay Ms M was behind me.

So I reached the checkout and was paying when a girl walked by me and Ms M shouted after her for pushing in. This other girl (unknown) made some comment under her breath and turned around again. So Ms M, even more loudly, asker her to repeat what she said and when she did you could see the world flip over and the titan emerge. She started talking heatedly (and very loudly) to this girl, telling her how rude she was and I tried to calm her down but could see that it was going to be impossible (I had paid at this point). It was very strange. I could almost see this roaring dragon behind her eyes that didn’t even see me – just this girl. I moved out the way to stand by one of my colleagues that was waiting by the products at the end of the queue and we watched with mixed fascination, surprise and a little horror at what was happening.

It quickly led to Ms M pushing this girl out the way to stand in front of the till. The girl pretty much flew across the floor. If there weren’t objects just behind her, I reckon she would have landed a lot further than she did. This brought some stunned silence to the rest of the crowd; there was a reasonable number of people at the tills and waiting for them in the narrow line behind the sweets where this girl had landed. The girl got up quite quickly and Ms M kept on ranting about something or another, demanding service. Ms M went to stand in front of another till while this girl stood at the same one, with Ms M making idle threats at the woman she floored if she said any more. I’m not sure but she might have actually hit her properly if provoked again…

The man behind the cashier refused to serve her and called for another server who quickly and quietly scanned Ms M’s goods while she continued ranting and raving on. I have to say I was a little surprised at the behaviour – I did not expect that and I don’t think any of the other girls from the office did, either. It took her the best part of an hour to calm down and you could almost see the clogs ticking round behind her eyes. At first she had no remorse; Ms M constantly reminded us that she would have hit her if she needed to (probably just idle threats at this point, but she is one of the most heated people I’ve ever seen). She even told friends over the phone what had happened, they seemingly agreeing with her by the loud tone of her conversation. I have to say I found this attitude quite interesting as I don’t know anyone quite like that. I know a few hot-headed guys, but this was on a different plane – really different!

After a while, when talking with the rest of us back in the office, she said that she could have handled it differently, but kept on about if people aggravated her she would happily retaliate. Then after a while after that she admitted that she could have handled things better and that she isn’t normally like that. Then it got down to full remorse, apologising to everyone for her behaviour multiple times and stating that she is never normally like that. I suspect that she is more hot-headed than she likes to admit. I was, at that point, envisaging judo throwing her and holding her in a lock should the situation arise in the office, but that is a private fantasy 😉 Plus I doubt it would be a particularly good idea…

Anyway, it was a surprising turn of events that probably should deter me from her company, but doesn’t particularly affect how I feel about her to be honest. I don’t know her! I’m not particularly judgemental on situations like that, although I do become more alert of small changes in body language. I want to write more but am tired and I need sleep!

Night night x

Complicated Thoughts

Today is merely a continuation of yesterday. Work somehow merges the weekend into one big day that only seems to last the length of a normal day. Life, eh. Before I know it I’ll be married with 3.1 children in surround sound…

I went out with my mum again, first to the dump and then to find her some shoes. A surprising number of people want to dump goods on a Sunday lunchtime. I guess Sunday is the DIY/gardening day. We had left some of our gardening bags for so long, procrastinating the trip to the dump, that they had started to ferment at the bottom. A… vibrant smell I can tell you now.

But yeh, anyway. I managed to persuade my mum to get two pairs of shoes. She doesn’t really spend money on herself and the shoes were different enough that my persuasions were justified and succeeded. Score! 😀 I also managed to get myself a lovely pair of leather ankle-high boots with my mum paying for half. Score x2! 😀

I was sitting in the shop looking at all the shoes and thinking of what their intended purpose was. Originally we skinned some animals lower in the food chain so we could run from the ones higher up (think big lions, heh). I guess weather and terrain conditions were actually closer to the real reasons and probably to escape some of the bugs crawling around and nipping at our toes. Still, whatever the reason, we weren’t so fussed on what they looked like as long as they protected us. Thinking about where the difference came in immediately made me think of the rich, but it was probably a little bit before then. I bet there was one man who was better at skinning and stitching than the rest and he became the cobbler. Of course, when you have a job title your trade becomes your product and there becomes a standard of quality. That man would not have been the only shoe-maker in the village and they would have competed in quality and price. So thus becomes the difference. The rich get the best, the poor get the leftovers and as time goes on and costs change and the rich get bored, new shoes are made with slight differences, introducing style. Well, this is how I imagine it. Could be total codswallop. 

We got back home in time to watch Britain beat Italy in the boxing (YEEESSSSS!!!!) and when that was over the phone rang. My mum picked it up and started listening intently before going upstairs to pass it to my dad. I couldn’t hear what was being said, but it sounded like an automated message so was a little confused as to why they were paying so much attention to it. I was trying to get my mum’s attention to find out what was wrong as my dad was going ‘oh god’ to the phone. I immediately thought that there was some tax or government thing that had caught us out and we had lost all our money or something. I have to say that this is a selfish thought considering the truth, but at the time seemed reasonable considering the situation. 
When my dad had finished with the phone he explained that one of his closest friends, a family friend, had cancer of the oesophagus. Makes my original thoughts seem a little self-obsessed. His wife had texted the home phone which is why it was read out in an automated voice. I have to say that that was the last thing that I was expecting to hear out of the blue. This man smokes a lot and always has, but we don’t talk to him or his family enough to keep up with the news. As far as I could tell they messaged us as soon as they had confirmed the diagnoses. Certainly leaves me with complicated thoughts.

What a day for London, UK

Well, I’m still shattered from my rude awakening in the morning, but a haircut, new shoes and an iced lemonade helped calm me down a bit 😀 

AND, OF COURSE~~~~~ the Olympics!!!! What a result for our Olympians today – especially loving Mo! Kudos should also go to McKeever in the canoeing and Campbell in the boxing, you did us proud! xxx